When tragedy strikes….how to keep from coming unglued and stay positive.

shellNot everything in life goes according to plan. Sometimes, even in the midst of planning a happy event like a wedding, tragedy strikes. A sudden death in the family or a cancer diagnosis can definitely put a major hiccup in your happy. It almost makes you feel guilty for being so happy about your wedding in the first place when something terrible happens. Sadly, it’s just a part of life. There will be times during your wedding planning process that will definitely try and test you. Most weddings take at least a year to plan. During that year a lot can happen. Things change, people change, our loved ones may get ill. It’s hard to find a silver lining and remain positive when it feels like so many things are going wrong. Have hope. Hold your head up. Things will eventually get better. Like the line from the movie the Crow, “It can’t rain all the time”. And it can’t. Eventually the sun will come out and the dark cloud that shrouded you will lift. Until that moment though here are a few self care tips to help you through the transition…..

  • Talk about it. It’s ok to be sad. Talking about how you’re feeling will give you a sense of relief. Keeping things bottled up inside can only last so long before you either blow your top or it starts to eat away at you. Verbalizing your emotions will help you to work through them. Just remember that it is also ok to be angry. You didn’t ask for this sudden change so being mad and frustrated is normal. Just don’t beat yourself up about it. Embrace how you are feeling and know that it is not permanent. With time these emotions will pass and the circumstances will be easier to accept.

 

  • Take time out for you. Being alone is ok while you sort out the emotions that you are experiencing. Sometimes it’s good to take a step back to process what’s been going on. Take a long bubble bath, go for a walk to get coffee, get a massage. All these little things can do a lot for the soul when you are feeling blue.

 

  • Take a “time out” from the wedding. If you find that you are having trouble with finalizing your wedding plans from the stress of whatever situation you are dealing with then it is ok to take a time out. No one said you have to be in happy wedding mode 100% of the time. You don’t.  Sometimes bad things happen to good people. And it causes a lot of emotions….sadness, fear, anger, doubt. Sorting through these emotions can cause a lot of uncertainty. Taking a step back from the wedding plans may be ideal until things seem a little sunnier.

 

  • Write it down. I am one of those people who say things much better when I write them than when I speak them. It sometimes helps to put the pen to the paper and just let your emotions pour out that way. It also gives you something to look back and reflect upon.

 

  • Distract yourself. Spend time with friends, go to a movie, go shopping. Just get out of the house. Sitting around moping over things that you cannot change can really drag you down. Find a new hobby or revisit an old one to help distract your mind a little bit from the pain you are feeling. Take a trip with your fiancé. Try a new restaurant.  Just do anything to get you moving. It’s proven that physical activity can ease depressed feelings. Dust off the bike in the garage and go for a ride. Go for a long hike and a picnic. Get outside and enjoy the sunshine and the fresh air. I promise that it will help.

 

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer with such a serious post today but I think some people need to hear that it’s ok not to be happy all of the time. Nothing is perfect and in today’s world things can go wrong in an instant. It’s totally ok to feel mad, hurt, and upset. These are all normal reactions to bad news. Give yourself time to grieve the fact that things are different now. Time will eventually pass and wounds will heal a little. Then you can go back to planning your wedding and rejoicing in the fact that you are loved and about to spend best part of your life with the one you love. After all….It can’t rain all the time. Keep your chin up. Try  to smile occasionally. Find joy and laughter where you can. As my dad used to say, “fake it till you make it”.

This too shall pass my friend.

 

Many Blessings…….. Gigi

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