So I’ve cheated.

cheat

Bet that headline got your attention! Good. Because I have a confession to make. I have been cheating you all. I have been cheating myself and more importantly I have cheated my family. At this point you must be confused. Let me explain.

I’ve been two-timing my business. You see…..I have only been on my own for about 2 years. I used to be an event planner for a venue hall where I worked with a team. Don’t get me wrong….I loved it but I always felt like I was missing out on the big picture. Like there was something more. From the time I was about 8 years old I have always wanted to run my own business. I grew up watching my grandfather, grandmother, and father all own their own ventures. I just knew that when I grew up I would have my own someday too. It was always a question of timing though….it never seemed right. I tried to get things off the ground but previous obligations always held me back from achieving my full potential. This past year was a huge wake up call for me. I had a cancer scare which threw my whole outlook on life into a giant tail spin. I experienced an unusually high amount of loss. Just as I thought the black cloud above me was about to pass I was yet again faced with some other insurmountable issue. It was enough to make the best of us crack. So knowing myself and how I process information, I decided to see a certified life coach to get some insight as to what I was doing wrong. Her perspective was life changing. I highly recommend getting an outside opinion when you are faced with strife that you just can’t shake. In a nutshell she told me that I was cheating. Cheating my business. Cheating my family. And cheating myself out of a life long dream. How was I cheating? I was continuing to work at a job that didn’t serve me any longer just to make sure the bills got paid. It was a never ending cycle and vicious loop of being constantly mentally drained and physically exhausted. The plan was to continue my employment until the Holidays before I could make a clean break and start the New Year all on my own. Needless to say, I didn’t make it that long. My blog started to suffer. My twitter became quiet. My overall excitement was dimming. My office orchid almost died because I never had the time to actually go to my office that I was now paying rent on. I never seemed to have time for anything anymore and I was just burnt out. So I had to make some hard choices. Continue what I was doing to pay the bills and let my fledgling business suffer or say enough is enough and branch out on my own. Is it a stupid idea? Yep. I have no financial safety net. My plan was to save up at least 6 months of living expenses before I went free falling into the no job netherworld. I have not gotten the chance to do that so I am basically starting this adventure on what limited savings I have and the whims of my fabulous fiancé. Point blank….I cannot fail. Not because I am so afraid to lose everything I have worked so hard for. I have done that before and started over completely twice. That I can handle. I can’t fail because I will be disappointing myself and doing a huge disservice to all of the Brides out there that need me. I can do cool things. I can take nothing and turn it into something amazing. I can beat the heck out of a budget to exhaust every single last penny to make sure my couple gets exactly what they want. I can negotiate with the best of them. I have so many neat ideas and tricks that my feet hit the ground in the morning and the first thing on my mind is ….How can I save my Bride some money today? It sounds ridiculous and in reality it is. But this is my drug. It’s my high. It’s what I live for. So no more cheating. Period. I do this all the way or not at all. I have so much to give my couples. And I have so much to give myself. I have worked for years to create a little, happy, artistic bubble for myself. I daydream about this. The day I walk out. The last time I punch in. The day I start supporting myself off the sweat of my own brow. The moment I start investing in me. I am way too smart to be busting my ass for someone that doesn’t appreciate or care about my talents. Boss gets a dollar while I get a dime. I don’t think so. Not anymore. Exactly two weeks from now I become my own boss. Permanently.

No more cheating.

Cheers!     Gigi

 

 

 

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