The real reason why you want to get married (and it shouldn’t be your wedding).

marketA few weeks ago I sat in Big Ed’s eating breakfast with DF in our favorite spot by the window indulging in a gut busting omelet when a flurry of happenings began going on across the street at Market Hall, one of Raleigh’s wedding venues. Deejay’s rentals were moving in event equipment and I have to admit I was less fascinated with my omelet and more interested in the two vans that had rolled up chock full of wedding paraphernalia. It appeared that they were having a Sunday wedding (my favorite of course) and at 11 am on this overcast day the whole family was here to set up. I couldn’t tell if the bride or groom was a part of the set up mob but everyone started unloading buckets of florals, handmade cakes, decorated pallet wood, and all sorts of other fun wedding necessities. I got really excited of course because I love anything that has to do with weddings. It made me want to rush right over and help which of course I couldn’t because DF wouldn’t be too keen on that since I hadn’t had a real day off in weeks. Not to mention we were taking the Viking out for an all day ride since the rain was holding out. I left willingly without much pouting but it did get the wheels in my little brain turning. Just as to how different the wedding industry has become even in the last 10 years. How more couples of being financially responsible about their wedding choices and budget when it comes to their big day. I say good for them! There needed to be a major shift. The focus needs to be in the marriage, the couple, and the relationship…not on the price tag of their wedding. A $500 wedding can be just as meaningful as a $500,000 wedding. Lose the hype. Don’t fall prey to the glitz and glamour. Hear me when I say this…..You do not need to be rich to have a nice wedding.

Why am I saying this you may think? Gigi aren’t you a wedding planner? Doesn’t your bread and butter come from the wedding business? Well yes it does but I truly believe that there are alternative ways to do things when it comes to a wedding. No one says….oh you are a financially struggling couple trying to pay off your bills and you want a nice wedding but it’s totally okay that you don’t break the bank to do it. The wedding industry pushes dresses that cost over $10,000 and engagement rings that cost twice that. Sure it’s nice but is it necessary? No. Think of it this way…who are you trying to impress here? It isn’t yourself. I would go tomorrow to the Justice of the Peace and marry DF and have no issue with it at all. Because I am not doing it just to have a wedding. I am doing it to spend my life with the man I love. No other reason than that.

afd8d0c4c43f0d028e56f526c0318796--disney-pumpkin-cinderella-pumpkinOur own wedding has been changed and then changed again. Finally I think we have found a place that will work for what we are wanting. It will be less than 25 people, low key, and in this awesome rustic cabin complete with wood paneled walls and a stone fireplace. I simply love it. But even without the cute little cabin, and the guests, and the fall decorations….I would still marry DF anyway. I am marrying my best friend. That’s all that matters. I wish the wedding industry would put more emphasis on the marriage and not just the wedding. There are a lot of disillusioned brides out there that just want to get married to have the fairytale. Well my friends, the fairytale isn’t real. Things just don’t just magically fall into place when you say you I do’s. It’s hard work. It’s sacrifice. It’s dedication…to yourselves and your marriage. The wedding is just a big event for one day only. Your marriage will last a lifetime. Concentrate on the details of your relationship far more than the details of your wedding. Things don’t have to be perfect. I promise no one will notice if your Aunt’s homemade wedding cake has a slight lean to it. The guests will all eat it anyway. No one will remember the forgotten guest favors or the fact that some of the blues in the wedding flowers don’t match each other perfectly. What does matter is your love and commitment to each other!

Hope this post is given you a little food for thought so to speak. It all boils down to this…if  your fiancé lost his/her job tomorrow and you were flat broke and could not have a big wedding…. would you still marry them? If the answer isn’t a 100% yes then you need to do some serious thinking my friend. Simple as that. Not to be Debbie Downer but don’t rush into a mistake if your heart just isn’t in it.

Everyone have a safe and happy 4th!

Cheers!   Gigi

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