Here I sit on this rainy and dreary Sunday watching the gray roll in as the sun starts to set and it finally hits me. The big news. The thing I have been waiting so long for. Yep….It’s officially official…..I’m now a Mrs! It’s only been a few weeks and it still hasn’t totally sunk in yet that I am now The Wife. Things have just been insane these past 7 months. One of these days I will get around to writing a book about it because honestly at this point, I don’t think anybody would believe what we have gone through! During our wedding we lost not one but 3 houses we were trying to purchase due to various issues (mold, structural, foundation). Our barn cat contracted a mostly always terminal autoimmune disease called Pemphigus that has caused weekly visits to the Vet school and 6 different kinds of daily medications. At the moment,she’s still not 100% but she’s improving daily. The night of the wedding after our reception we had to go home in our wedding gear and give her the evening meds and her daily bath. Fun stuff!! We still haven’t gone on our honeymoon yet and won’t until she gets stable enough to have my sis care for her. My loves suit was bought too big (my fault) and we had to do last minute alterations that cost just as much as the suit did! Two days before the wedding more than 14 guests called to cancel their RSVP’s because they had gotten the flu. Speaking of the flu, the week of the wedding my wedding photographer also came down with the flu but thank goodness for Tamiflu! My best friend from my childhood decided that this was all to much for her I guess and bailed on my wedding. The spa bachelorette party the night before the wedding that my sis planned was basically ruined by an awful tech that did a horrible job on my wedding day nails, who also shaved off a part of my thumb with the electric drill. My hair stylist did my hair for the wedding day and it looked just awful but there was no time to fix it. Which left me sobbing on the way back to the hotel to get dressed. Which also left me puffy eyes trying to have my makeup done and borrowing my sister’s curling iron to try to fix my hot mess of a hairstyle. Oh and did I mention that I am being stalked online by an old coworker who sent me creepy “I love you” messages a couple days after the wedding??? Also two people we know passed away with one of the funerals being just a few days before our ceremony. It seemed like no matter what we did, things were just falling apart. I nearly called the wedding off the Monday before. The stress was about to kill me and I was starting to have chest pains. Luckily my family, and my fiancé, convinced me to go through with it and I am so glad that I did. Even with all the mishaps, our wedding was perfect. I’m a wedding planner, I’ve done so many weddings, and I know that things are bound to go haywire. Like when my nephew keyed the wrong music at the end of our pronouncement. Or how the lighting was turned down too low during the ceremony and there are few good pictures that the guests took. Or how the thermostat for the venue could not find a happy medium and we were either freezing to death or burning up. Not to mention the freak cold front that made it 19 degrees the night of our wedding making nearly any outdoor shot unbearable for more than a few minutes. All of these things didn’t matter though. In the grand scheme of things they really didn’t. I tell brides all the time that things will go wrong because you know what, they will. You need to be flexible enough to know that it is not the end of the world, that you will in fact get married, and that years later you can look back and laugh about almost falling in the toilet trying to hike up your wedding dress in the bathroom by yourself without any help. Yes that actually happened folks. Roll with the punches. Have a team of people to talk you off that ledge when you think things are getting to be too much. Have back up plans for your back up plans. And then make back up plans for those. If I actually sat down and wrote out all of the things that went wrong during the planning of this wedding I would wonder how in the hell we pulled it off. I’m still sitting here in awe that neither of us went totally mad. Because you know its bad when your officiant points out during your ceremony that your marriage will stand the test of time due to all the mishaps that happened before. I have been asked if I thought all of the things going wrong was a sign from the Universe saying that we shouldn’t proceed with the wedding. I thought about that for maybe two seconds before I realized that this was the ultimate test. If we couldn’t survive the last year of this wedding planning process then how in the world was our relationship ever going to make it in the real world? Would I have liked for things to have gone a bit smoother? Sure. But these things happening had a necessary purpose. As do all things in life. So you take a deep breath and you roll with it. And roll we did. Right down the aisle to husband and wife.
My advice to you dearest Bride is to rely on your partner. Not your family or friends. But your actual fiancé. The person you will be sharing your life with. The person you will come home to. The person that you will argue with, disagree with, and the person who will eventually piss you off. The one you are saying your I Do’s to. I made a critical mistake in the beginning when things started going wrong by confiding in my friends. I should have been sharing all of my feelings and issues with my future husband instead. Because I didn’t, it caused things to eventually bubble to the surface which in turn then became a blow out. I had to learn the hard way that the only person who truly understood what I was going through at that exact moment was the other person that was in it with me. I ignored the fact that he could have been my sounding board and my support system. Big mistake. No one else really cared if the open bar was going to set us over budget. Or if the venue wasn’t set up exactly to my liking. The only person that could appreciate my wedding woes was my fiancé. Eventually I figured that out and stopped making my friends crazy with every single little detail of what was going wrong with the wedding. I started including him in conversations and letting him listen to my worries and complaints. And it worked. He felt included and we grew stronger together because of it. When you get married you become a team. You’re not dating, one of you can’t just get mad and go home. This is it. The person that will be in your face 24-7 for the rest of your natural life. You want to like this person. You want them to like you. And you want your love to continue to grow and flourish throughout the bad times. So when you get engaged and start thinking about the journey from Miss to MRS…. don’t leave out the groom. He’s important too and his opinions matter. Pissed off at the catering staff? Complain to your soon to be spouse. Don’t like the color palette of the venue? Split a bottle of wine and discuss wedding décor to spice up the space. Just be a team in all you do. Because if you start now before you get married it will be a lot easier when you wake up the morning after and realize that this person is now YOUR person permanently. Just sayin.
Many Blessings to all! Stay tuned for a future post on my wedding run down and what I plan on doing now that the wedding madness is finally over!!
Talk soon…….. Gigi