A serious post about Cyber Stalking

stalkI hate that I even have to write a post about this subject. And chances are, because you simply CANNOT restrict everything that one does on the internet, the person stalking me is reading this at the same time as you are. Let me give you a little background into what I am experiencing in hopes that someone else can relate and maybe find comfort knowing that they are not alone.

I have been stalked before so this is nothing new,IRL and also online. Mostly by jaded exes when I was in my younger years. But this individual is not someone I have ever dated. This person was a former friend and coworker. This person made the decision one day many years ago to constantly involve herself in the details of my dating life. She would consistently cyber stalk the people I was dating without my knowledge. To be honest I knew nothing of it until a guy actually broke things off with me because he couldn’t stand to get one more “crazy” message from this alleged friend. I honestly thought he was nuts. But just to make sure, I asked all of my friends at the time if anyone had been contacting the people I was dating. Time and time again the answer was no. Even the person actually causing all the trouble looked me in the eye and said no right to my face. So I let it go. I dismissed what happened and I just moved right on with the pace of my life. Over the years, strange things began to happen. People I dated continue to tell me that this one person was contacting them. Exes began approaching me with the same information, telling me that this person was divulging in very personal information. On more than one occasion an ex said that this individual followed them or conveniently showed up where they were going. My female friends began telling me that this person was approaching them on social media, requesting to be friends and inquiring information about me. Time and time again I confronted this person who continuously had an answer of no. I began to distance myself and even called off the friendship entirely. I told her never to contact me, my family, or any of my friends again. It seemed to work for awhile but then she began to target my new fiancé and my son. She even messaged my sister pretending to show fake concern for my well being. Things truly got out of hand and again I told her that under no circumstance was she to ever contact me or any of my family or friends. I was called a few names of course and she denied everything. I blocked her on every social media outlet that I frequented as well did my family and friends. She was warned that if she had any further contact that a restraining order would be issued. To this day I know she trolls this blog as well as my business Facebook page. I know from time to time she continuously tries to make contact with friends of friends just to see what I am doing. A few days after our wedding she even found a way to message me on social media sending her love and congratulations even though she has been blocked from my account for months. I finally went into my social media accounts and deleted and blocked every single person that could have a link to her in someway. Sadly, there is no real way to prevent her from following this blog. But if she is reading this, she should be ashamed of herself. A grown woman who is harassing my family and myself for what purpose???? It’s really sad that in this day and age we truly are not safe. Everything that we do is monitored and watched. I had honestly considered just deleting all of my social media accounts but that is how I keep in touch with both sides of my family and my high school and college friends. It’s sad to think that every time I log into my WordPress I am wondering if she has read the latest post. Which is why if you noticed I try not to put places in my blog posts. I don’t want her knowing where I live, where I work, or what I am doing at any time. And I am sure that most of you reading this have had a similar situation. It’s sad that you can’t really be safe nowdays but then again, people overshare on social media way too much. I am guilty of this as well. Every time I check in somewhere, I let people know where I am and who I am with. Every time I tweet where I’m grabbing a quick bite for lunch, I let people know exactly where they can find me. Every time I post a picture of my son, I am compromising his safety. These are things that we seriously need to start thinking about. My dad used to always say, “Safety First”. And he’s right. You can’t be too careful. I know this post is not my usual but it is a very important subject that I feel needs to be addressed. In today’s world of smart phones, laptops, tablets, and Alexa…..we just need to be mindful. You can never be too cautious. Just remember that the next time you post something online. And pay attention to the people that follow you, message you, and like your social media when you truly are not friends. You could be missing red flags. If something feels off then it usually is. Frequently check your social media to see who is following you. Check your privacy settings to see who can see what you post. Block and delete people if necessary. Keep some parts of your life private. Not everyone needs to know that you are grabbing a bagel and a cup a joe at the new hippest hang out in the area. And if you do decide to post, wait until you are no longer there. Checking in gives strangers in the area that may be following you the chance to pop in and see exactly what you could be doing. Is that extra like really worth it??? Nope! In some ways, I’ll be so glad when we move to the Farm. The only people I will be talking to on a daily basis are my hubby, son, mom, my horse, my goat, and the chickens in the yard. Peace and quiet isn’t always a bad thing. Neither is distancing yourself from people who could be potentially dangerous. Just use your common sense and go with your gut. Gut feelings are seldom wrong. Learn to trust them about people and situations. And try unplugging a little bit more.  Your soul and family will thank you for it.


Safety first my friends. Safety first……… Gigi


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